Finally! A vampire movie! Not the one we all wanted, but it’s A VAMPIRE MOVIE!
Blade (1998) Dir. Stephen Norrington Writ. David S. Goyer Stars: Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, N'Bushe Wright Rated R 120 mins. Action, Supernatural IMDB 7.1
Ah, tonight’s vampire movie is Blade!!! One of Marvel’s first comic book movies that most people don’t realize is even a Marvel comic book movie. Also, Wesley Snipes before he went to prison, yay! This is a vampire movie classic, it’s one of those movies that everybody has seen, and it’s always a good time.
So here we go.
Blade tells the story of a half-mortal, half-vampire hybrid, made so because his mother was pregnant when she was bitten and died, who hunts down vampires to kill as many as he can with the help of an old man named Whistler who hunts vampires because they killed his family. With the help of a hematologist who was attacked by vampires at work and is now hiding from the police who are all bought out by the vampire underworld higher-ups, Blade has to stop Frost, one of the worst of the vampires, from summoning the blood demon.
To start with, this movie is one of those that isn’t a ‘hilariously bad’ movie, because it isn’t really bad, but it’s hilariously over the top and somewhat campy. I’m not sure ‘campy’ is even the right word for what I mean, but it’s very dramatic and cheesy. However cheesy it may be, however, it actually is a pretty decent movie. The story line is simple and sort of vague, and there are some events that happen that are absolutely “What the FUCK?!” but the writing isn’t nearly as cheesy as it could be and the acting is actually pretty good.
The vampire lore for this movie has it so that they turn with one bite, vampires are highly allergic to garlic and silver, and if someone is bitten and is injected with a garlic sauce stuff fast enough they won’t become a vampire.
My favorite things about this movie are the soundtrack, the crazy high-speed editing in some spots, and the hilariously over the top thing where it goes from realistic fighting to having this like… inject vampires with blood thinner and they puff up like a balloon and then explode. It’s just so WEIRD and I love it!
Apart from the vampires puffing up like balloons and exploding, the weird fat vampire in the basement is also very “WTF?!”, as is the thing where the born vampires skeletons pop out of their mouths and fly away, because WOW. What the hell, right? Also the whole ‘slice him in half, but his body comes back together’ thing. that was amazingly “wtf”. I love it!
And the worst part of all is that, the part at the beginning with the blood sprinklers? Yeah, that’s a real thing. Blood raves really exist. Talk about truly “What the Fuck?!”
My Rating: 7/10